


To Hold Death's Hand

by RhinoMouse



Series: Femslash February 2017 [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Oops, Why Did I Write This?, rumination at the end of life, so we like to kill people apparently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 06:53:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9808148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhinoMouse/pseuds/RhinoMouse
Summary: Nyssa finds peace with death at the end of her life, but every end is a new beginning.





	

Nyssa lay in the mud staring up at the sky. It was dark and filled with smoke. Through the smoke, stars gleamed against the backdrop of destruction that surrounded her. She could feel the cold spreading up her limbs, death was coming for her. Death had been the one constant through her life. She’d struck death, known death intimately, accepted it and cursed it. For all that, now that she could feel it creeping over her, she felt nothing but relief. 

Breathing was difficult, she could feel the blood bubbling up past her lips. She’d always thought if she died, it would be over quickly. Not that she was unaware of slow and lasting deaths. Rather that she doubted anyone was foolish enough to strike her with anything but a mortal blow. It hurt but she moved her arm slowly to her side, slipping it into a pocket beneath her armor. She chuckled at the reminder of her armor. It hadn’t protected her from the pole driven through her gut. Instead, the area around the pole was bent in digging into her flesh as well. Her amusement caused more blood to dribble out of her mouth. Coughing weakly, she felt her lungs trying to compensate. 

Oh, she couldn’t feel her legs anymore. Her fingers touched the object she’d been searching for but she changed her mind. Instead she grabbed the small chain next to it. It took more strength then she knew she had to pull it out and grip it in her fingers. Finally, her fumbling fingers had the locket firmly in their grasp. She managed to open it on the rubble beside her face. Lolling her head to the side, she moved her eyes from the stars to the face of Sara Lance. The only woman she had ever loved, or would ever love. 

The fact she was dying didn’t change that. She’d known from the day Sara had stolen her heart that she would never give it to another. Her lips, wet with her own blood, cracked into a content smile at the face of her Beloved. Her canary. 

Her love, her life, had been a cage to her canary though, so she’d let her fly free. Nyssa didn’t regret that. When her little bird had flown away, she’d taken the best parts of her with her. However, Nyssa could never have denied her freedom. Oh, she’d tried back in the beginning before she’d truly understood that the league may have been the cage but it was her love that had kept Sara from breaking free of it. So, she’d let her go. Her brave, beautiful little bird. 

She was suddenly so very angry. Sara had not asked her to wait, had told her not to. She’d accepted that she would not return to her. That did not mean she would not have waited, even without hope. Now that she was dying, she knew that false hope could never be achieved and she hated that in this moment she would die alone. She was Nyssa Al Ghul, daughter of the demon. She was not going to die while her enemies sat feet away, thinking they had won some victory in killing a woman who had been dead in all but name since her Canary had left her never to return. 

It was harder somehow this time. Her arm moved in fits and starts. She moved it with slow jerks towards the inner pocket of her outfit. Finally, the agony of each movement more than the last, she managed to half claw, half jerk, her hand in where it wrapped around the object she’d been searching for. The cool metal was familiar under her grip. It was a coward's weapon, but these men had attacked her like cowards. She felt no qualms, jerking the pin out, she fumbled but got it out and let it bounce down the steps towards her murderer. 

Blinking her eyes, she forced the darkening edges of her vision back with sheer force of will. She would die with the last thing she saw her Beloved’s face. Death had always held one hand and life the other. In this moment, she wanted her last lingering moments before death took all of her to be with her Beloved even if only in spirit. 

She was vaguely aware of the explosion, like it was from a great distance. It felt like she was underwater as her eyelids finally closed. It was too much effort to keep them open any longer. Smiling, she felt her memories surrounding her. Suddenly, she was warm again. She felt the faint brushing of hair against her cheeks, the smell of Sara hit her nostrils, so out of place in Nanda Parbot. She was home as she could feel death encompassing her. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Nyssa came back to awareness suddenly, her eyes flew open and she stared at the white ceiling. No, not white, light metal that was reflecting the light from the room. 

“Hey, easy.” 

Sara. Shifting, she cringed as pain lanced through her. Gasping, she slammed her eyes shut trying to regulate her breathing and accept the pain. She’d been trained to not so much as flinch when boiling water was poured over her, to not flinch when tortured, but this… this was a pain she’d not felt before. 

A hand pressed on her shoulder, keeping her in place. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re safe.” 

Breathing out, she calmed herself. Opening her eyes again, she saw her Beloved leaning over her, her kind eyes filled with tears, tracing over her face for sign of distress. Nyssa swallowed. “Beloved, what? I felt death’s embrace. How am I here with you now?” 

Sara’s thumb rubbed in circles against her shoulder. “You died, but we were ready for that. Though the shrapnel from the grenade was a bit much.” She choked on her words. “Still, we were able to bring you back.” 

“I destroyed the pit, how?” Nyssa tried to ascertain that she hadn’t been lowered into those cursed waters. The rage of the waters did not seem to be plaguing her. Plus, her injuries were aching and very present not washed away in the waters of the Lazareth pit.

Sara gave her a pained smile. “Well, I am the captain of a time-traveling ship from the future. I looked up your future, I’m sorry but I had to know that you lived. When I saw your death, well I did something stupid.” 

“You could never be stupid Beloved, foolish perhaps, but not stupid.” Nyssa, had never been able to bear the way her Beloved saw herself. The way others perceived her when to her she was everything. 

“Foolish then.” Sara accepted. “Flew the ship to an hour before your death. With the technology available we had the medbay outfitted for you. We were not expecting the grenade though.” Her eyes suddenly hardened. “The bastards who killed you are dead.” 

Nyssa felt shock and sorrow at that. “You did not need to do that, I would never ask you to burden your soul for me like that.” 

“You didn’t have to.” Sara picked up her hand, threading their fingers together before bringing the back of her hand to her lips. “I have learned to be… at peace with what must be done. I would have had a far larger stain on my soul if I had allowed them to get away with killing you.” 

“I still don’t understand why? Why come for me, I have always been prepared for death.” Nyssa frowned as she tried to grasp what was happening. 

Sara pulled back a couple of inches. “I will always come for you Nyssa. You may not be the first nor the last in my life, but you will always be the greatest love of my life.” 

Nyssa considered her words. Their time together was not to be. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to grieve for a moment that Sara would not remain with her for long. Still, she had to drink in the image of Sara, real live and present Sara, there with her. “How long before you leave this time?” 

Sara grinned. “Remember how I said I did something foolish?”

Nodding cautiously, Nyssa waited to hear what Sara had gotten herself into this time. 

“Well, you should have died. History says you died, which means I can’t return you to your time.” She reached out, brushing along the side of her face. “I can place you in anytime you want in some out of the way location… or… or you can stay here, with me, on the ship.” 

“You want me to come with you?” Nyssa asked reverently. 

Sara kissed her hand once more. “Always, but this time I can ask it of you. Because you don’t have a fate I would be stealing from you. You served the league. Your fate is complete. You’re free Nyssa. You can be whoever you want.” 

“I have always been yours.” Nyssa intoned. The fullness of this reality hadn’t truly hit her, but she would let nothing prevent her from following her Beloved, not even herself. 

“Then stay, be a Legend, travel throughout time with us.” Sara asked. 

Nyssa smiled. “Beloved, I will be whatever it is you require at your side so long as you allow me to stand beside you.” 

Sara swooped in kissing her softly. “Welcome to the Legends then, you can help me not kill the crew.” She shrugged. “Or help me kill them, either way.”


End file.
